If you want to think about it in those terms, then remember, that how a couple are in public are very different as to how they are in the bedroom. If we do go into the debate about (the after hours). Then I would say Bon Bon is most likely outwardly, the Controller, Handling things and even having the stable job and personality, who can handle Lyra´s craziness. But the moment they get in private, i am fairly certain Lyra will have the, Upper Hand. Ba Dum tish.